Such efforts are common in marriage and in various situations of the education of children. In marriage and raising children there “ups and downs” that are considered normal. When spouses, or parents, define ordinary “ups and downs”, as representing the destruction process of personal-relations then normal difficulties become problems. Attempts to “fix” the relationship have the tendency to determine who is to blame and what is his guilt. In this situation, the arguing becomes a problem in itself.
For example, a spouse can say: “Did you notice something, our relationship does not work recently as they should?”. In this question is the questioner’s statement that he believes there’s something wrong going on in the relationship between them. Also, the question has a built-determination that the questioner knows that something wrong is happening and his partner has a certain responsibility. Here, there is a determination of guilt and blame
Spouse has two response options: acceptance or denial. If the response is agreement, the couple will move immediately into an argument designed to determine which of them is wrong or, who is to blame of the current situation. If the answer is denial, then the spouse, who initiated the arguing, will blame the insensitivity or disregard the other because of the difficult situation. This is the most obvious argument
Other pictures in a family, similar in nature, occur between parents and children. This happens a lot when parents confronted with their child about his views. They try to convince him his position is wrong, and when such conflicts come to “pop” it is difficult to return to dialogue
The trial of each party to protect the position deepens the gap between them so it becomes very difficult to bring them to dialogue. In such a situation inquiries for help are made and family members expect from the therapist to bring about a rapprochement between them.
What is an arguing?
We all experienced arguing at home, work and other circumstances. The focus of arguing is the thought that you’re right and not the other. This approach leads to arguing while each side tries to convince the other that he is right and not the other. This situation is very complex since it leads to a “dead-end way
Compared with the arguing there is a disagreement. In a disagreement, there is recognition of the possibility that even if you do not agree with the other, he may still be right. This allows expansion of our personal experience from the others experience.
Therefore, in order to resolve a dispute we have to recognize and accept the relative rightness of each of the arguing partners