Be spontaneous paradox

It is an attempt to resolve the difficulties, in a planned way, while this kind of difficulties are often designed to work out spontaneously. Such familiar situations are: falling asleep difficulty, sexual dysfunction, bedwetting, overeating, and other intestinal problems

Some people see this  difficulties as special situations that require correction. An attempt to reach a planned way to solve the difficulty increases the concern about the matter, further planned increased attempts to reach a solution and achieve a change, bring the opposite: preserving the difficulty
For instance, someone who cannot have sex for reasons of normal fatigue, work stress or other unusual event in his life, is trying to fix the “failure” the next day. His concentration on self-commitment to succeed makes this “failure” return. If he stops his efforts to succeed it will likely take some time to repair spontaneously. But the man (perhaps with the assistance of his wife) do not believe in spontaneity and he is planning again the success. This time, he rests well, “tries” not to be too tight, yet the mission is not perfect. Then the problem is “the attempt to force” the success in sex while this phenomenon usually occurs spontaneously. The returned “failures” convince him that he has a “real” so he decides apply for a therapeutic intervention, medical or psychological

 A similar of dealing with another problem we can see when a person has sleeping difficulties. He is trying to get asleep, with all his might, through various means; from relaxation to relief or medication use of sleeping pills given to him by doctors. When he is not succeeding he feels a distress. Then he tries harder and succeeds less and less. He is not aware of the problem of trying to do hard something that happens spontaneously